Thanks for unpacking this. At my historically conservative evangelical Bible college, one professor taught that when it comes to preaching, listeners have the final say on whether the sermon was abusive. The example given: if you preach that it is a sin to break one of God’s commandments, and a congregant informs you that you abused them through said sermon, then it *was* abusive. All of the professor’s sources were psycho-analytical, and that was nine years ago. Those beliefs are seemingly becoming more commonplace.
Very very important article! Thank you! Reminds me of similarly expressed concerns while recently re-reading The Cambridge Declaration (https://www.alliancenet.org/cambridge-declaration). From its preface in a book by the Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals, Here We Stand!: "A therapeutic worldview has replaced classical Christian categories such as sin and repentance, and many leaders have identified the gospel with such modern idols as sociology, a particular political philosophy, and psychological views of humanity ... The polls told us that the gospel most contemporary evangelicals believed in was essentially God helping us to help ourselves. It had a lot to do with self-esteem, good mental attitudes, and worldly success ... There was not much preaching about sin, hell, judgment, or the wrath of God, not to mention the great doctrines of the cross such as redemption, atonement, reconciliation, propitiation, justification, grace, and even faith … Lacking a sound, biblical, and well-understood theology, evangelicals have fallen prey to the pragmatism and consumerism of our times. A therapeutic worldview has replaced classical Christian categories such as sin and repentance, and many leaders have identified the gospel with such modern idols as sociology, a particular political philosophy, and psychological views of humanity." From the C.D.: "In practice, the church is guided, far too often, by the culture. Therapeutic technique, marketing strategies, and the beat of the entertainment world often have far more to say about what the church wants, how it functions, and what it offers, than does the Word of God ... Scripture must take us beyond our perceived needs to our real needs and liberate us from seeing ourselves through the seductive images, clichés, promises, and priorities of mass culture. It is only in the light of God’s truth that we understand ourselves aright and see God’s provision for our need ... As evangelical faith has become secularized, its interests have been blurred with those of the culture. The result is a loss of absolute values, permissive individualism, and a substitution of wholeness for holiness, recovery for repentance, intuition for truth, feeling for belief, chance for providence, and immediate gratification for enduring hope ... The loss of God’s centrality in the life of today’s church is common and lamentable. It is this loss that allows us to transform … being good into feeling good about ourselves ... … self-improvement, self-esteem, or self-fulfillment are allowed to become alternatives to the gospel." Further, in David F. Wells' opening chapter that follows, “Our Dying Culture,” are sadly striking signs of the life of the modern church (keeping in mind the bigger churches in the letters to Asia in The Revelation were the ones that Christ said were dying): “What may be the clearest indicator of the disappearance of a moral texture to society is the loss of shame … we have … lost our understanding of ourselves as moral beings ... Among the real moral majority today it is not hard to discern pagan motifs … Christ … has become simply a mold into which modern therapeutic content is poured.” In my 13 years as a minister, this refrain of “modern therapeutic content” most jumps out to me as the problem of how many approach our church and its ministry with expectations that are more “Sola Self” as to the source of authority and object of glory.
Thanks for this. I especially appreciated your observation regarding the assumption of guilt. I have experienced this in dealing with complaints regarding leadership in the organization I work with. This, I think, is the most serious flaw in the thinking of many that wish to crusade against "abusive leadership". Presumption of malice and guilt in a relationship is not a Christian concept, neither is a vengeful or punitive spirit. So far, the mechanisms I have seen that are designed to protect against abuse are easily abused themselves, as a way for those not in leadership to destroy those they dislike in leadership. Since the self-declared "victim" is assumed to be correct, always. It seems people rarely consider the difficulties and probabilities of trying to lead narcissists. In a discussion of our combined leadership on this subject I listened for a couple of hours as a team tasked with researching and presenting solutions for abusive leadership gave their report. At one point I simply asked this, can a leader tell anyone what to do and can a leader correct anyone? Crickets. Clearly abuse is a very serious problem, but just as clearly we need better solutions than the ones I have seen so far. Thanks again for opening the conversation.
Keller didn’t just tweet that “Christians should read their Bible.” He said that every Christian should read the ENTIRE Bible AT LEAST once a year (bare minimum) and that this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing they can do. Is this abuse? It’s certainly pharisaical and elitist, degrading to the vast majority of people who don’t live up to that standard. It may not be abuse, but as this is coming from a teacher, pastor, and leader, it is definitely damaging and irresponsible. Cynical people like me will dismiss his words, but better natured and more naive Christians will struggle and dismay as they try to hold themselves accountable to this man-made measure of faith.
It's a complicated topic. I certainly was on the receiving end of some bad stuff via narcissistic church leaders. Same goes for many friends of mine. It was a difficult path to find my way out of the hurt and confusion, but I did lots of work via therapy and supportive friends. My experience with trying to find, and even build, a constructive community that can explore (and even go beyond) deconstruction is that there's often so much bitterness and almost this unspoken need for revenge against those who once harmed us (or who remind us of those who once harmed us.) Insert cliche about how unforgiveness or revenge generally only end up hurting us. Also reminds me of the old adage about how if you hate something you should really try to make sure you don't end up replicating similar behaviors. I've had deconstruction "leaders" argue intensely for their right to remain exactly where they're at, even when they're stuck in a bog of pain and misery. I get that there's a time and place for everything, and that it takes time to move on. I certainly needed a minute back in the day. Again, many people have experienced some terrible things at the hands of once trusted church leaders, and so I understand the pain. I hope to see the emergence of wise leaders who can help guide people through this process and help them heal and move beyond their hurt.
There are so many loaded words that get thrown around with little regard for their meanings. We all just assume we know what we mean when we say them. “Narcissist” is one such a loaded word.
Thanks for unpacking this. At my historically conservative evangelical Bible college, one professor taught that when it comes to preaching, listeners have the final say on whether the sermon was abusive. The example given: if you preach that it is a sin to break one of God’s commandments, and a congregant informs you that you abused them through said sermon, then it *was* abusive. All of the professor’s sources were psycho-analytical, and that was nine years ago. Those beliefs are seemingly becoming more commonplace.
Very very important article! Thank you! Reminds me of similarly expressed concerns while recently re-reading The Cambridge Declaration (https://www.alliancenet.org/cambridge-declaration). From its preface in a book by the Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals, Here We Stand!: "A therapeutic worldview has replaced classical Christian categories such as sin and repentance, and many leaders have identified the gospel with such modern idols as sociology, a particular political philosophy, and psychological views of humanity ... The polls told us that the gospel most contemporary evangelicals believed in was essentially God helping us to help ourselves. It had a lot to do with self-esteem, good mental attitudes, and worldly success ... There was not much preaching about sin, hell, judgment, or the wrath of God, not to mention the great doctrines of the cross such as redemption, atonement, reconciliation, propitiation, justification, grace, and even faith … Lacking a sound, biblical, and well-understood theology, evangelicals have fallen prey to the pragmatism and consumerism of our times. A therapeutic worldview has replaced classical Christian categories such as sin and repentance, and many leaders have identified the gospel with such modern idols as sociology, a particular political philosophy, and psychological views of humanity." From the C.D.: "In practice, the church is guided, far too often, by the culture. Therapeutic technique, marketing strategies, and the beat of the entertainment world often have far more to say about what the church wants, how it functions, and what it offers, than does the Word of God ... Scripture must take us beyond our perceived needs to our real needs and liberate us from seeing ourselves through the seductive images, clichés, promises, and priorities of mass culture. It is only in the light of God’s truth that we understand ourselves aright and see God’s provision for our need ... As evangelical faith has become secularized, its interests have been blurred with those of the culture. The result is a loss of absolute values, permissive individualism, and a substitution of wholeness for holiness, recovery for repentance, intuition for truth, feeling for belief, chance for providence, and immediate gratification for enduring hope ... The loss of God’s centrality in the life of today’s church is common and lamentable. It is this loss that allows us to transform … being good into feeling good about ourselves ... … self-improvement, self-esteem, or self-fulfillment are allowed to become alternatives to the gospel." Further, in David F. Wells' opening chapter that follows, “Our Dying Culture,” are sadly striking signs of the life of the modern church (keeping in mind the bigger churches in the letters to Asia in The Revelation were the ones that Christ said were dying): “What may be the clearest indicator of the disappearance of a moral texture to society is the loss of shame … we have … lost our understanding of ourselves as moral beings ... Among the real moral majority today it is not hard to discern pagan motifs … Christ … has become simply a mold into which modern therapeutic content is poured.” In my 13 years as a minister, this refrain of “modern therapeutic content” most jumps out to me as the problem of how many approach our church and its ministry with expectations that are more “Sola Self” as to the source of authority and object of glory.
Thanks for this. I especially appreciated your observation regarding the assumption of guilt. I have experienced this in dealing with complaints regarding leadership in the organization I work with. This, I think, is the most serious flaw in the thinking of many that wish to crusade against "abusive leadership". Presumption of malice and guilt in a relationship is not a Christian concept, neither is a vengeful or punitive spirit. So far, the mechanisms I have seen that are designed to protect against abuse are easily abused themselves, as a way for those not in leadership to destroy those they dislike in leadership. Since the self-declared "victim" is assumed to be correct, always. It seems people rarely consider the difficulties and probabilities of trying to lead narcissists. In a discussion of our combined leadership on this subject I listened for a couple of hours as a team tasked with researching and presenting solutions for abusive leadership gave their report. At one point I simply asked this, can a leader tell anyone what to do and can a leader correct anyone? Crickets. Clearly abuse is a very serious problem, but just as clearly we need better solutions than the ones I have seen so far. Thanks again for opening the conversation.
Keller didn’t just tweet that “Christians should read their Bible.” He said that every Christian should read the ENTIRE Bible AT LEAST once a year (bare minimum) and that this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing they can do. Is this abuse? It’s certainly pharisaical and elitist, degrading to the vast majority of people who don’t live up to that standard. It may not be abuse, but as this is coming from a teacher, pastor, and leader, it is definitely damaging and irresponsible. Cynical people like me will dismiss his words, but better natured and more naive Christians will struggle and dismay as they try to hold themselves accountable to this man-made measure of faith.
Thanks for spending so much time writing on this, Samuel. It’s been unbelievably helpful.
I'm so very glad I got to read the rest of this piece, very insightful and really striking at some of the center of a current trend in the church.
It's a complicated topic. I certainly was on the receiving end of some bad stuff via narcissistic church leaders. Same goes for many friends of mine. It was a difficult path to find my way out of the hurt and confusion, but I did lots of work via therapy and supportive friends. My experience with trying to find, and even build, a constructive community that can explore (and even go beyond) deconstruction is that there's often so much bitterness and almost this unspoken need for revenge against those who once harmed us (or who remind us of those who once harmed us.) Insert cliche about how unforgiveness or revenge generally only end up hurting us. Also reminds me of the old adage about how if you hate something you should really try to make sure you don't end up replicating similar behaviors. I've had deconstruction "leaders" argue intensely for their right to remain exactly where they're at, even when they're stuck in a bog of pain and misery. I get that there's a time and place for everything, and that it takes time to move on. I certainly needed a minute back in the day. Again, many people have experienced some terrible things at the hands of once trusted church leaders, and so I understand the pain. I hope to see the emergence of wise leaders who can help guide people through this process and help them heal and move beyond their hurt.
There are so many loaded words that get thrown around with little regard for their meanings. We all just assume we know what we mean when we say them. “Narcissist” is one such a loaded word.
Thanks for seriously weighing in on this topic. Throwing around terms like narcissist, gaslighting, toxic, abusive...can become abuse in itself.
I got accused of "gas lighting", and spent several years in confusion and endless introspection trying to see it.
Finally realized I was the one who got gaslighted!
I agree with this - is that a dangerous thing to do? Scary times....